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The Sand Ceremony is a beautiful and unique way to symbolize the new family which is created by your marriage. In this ceremony, you are each represented by a different color of sand (some suggestions include your favorite color or your birthstone), and together you pour your individual vases of sand into one larger vase. The actual wording of this ceremony varies, and I have included a couple of examples. An advantage the Sand Ceremony has over a Unity Candle is that, while Unity Candles are also pretty, they are rarely personalized beyond having your names added, and once they have been used, you have a partially-burnt candle. With the Sand Ceremony, I prompt each of you to create layers with your different colors, thereby ensuring that YOU are the ones creating your own symbol. This is also very nice when there are children coming into the marriage, where they can each join in and be a part of the ceremony. Another idea is for a Bride & Groom to use a large vase for their Sand Ceremony and to add more sand later for each child as he or she is born.
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| Here are some examples of the Sand Ceremony as it is presented, usually immediately following the Ring Exchange and before the Rose Ceremony (if applicable): Civil: GROOM and BRIDE have chosen to seal their marriage vows with a symbol of their unity. They are each represented by a different color of sand in the smaller vases, everything they are and have been to this day, a member of their own family and separate. As the sand is poured into the center vase, they are symbolizing the joining of these separate lives, and the filled vase will represent the new family formed with this marriage. Just as these grains of sand can no longer be separated again into individual containers, so will they be forever entwined. Christian: Each of the smaller vases contains a different color of sand, representing each of their lives to this moment to this moment. They are two distinct and separate containers, each capable of going their separate ways. To bring bliss and happiness to their home there must be the merging of these two into one. This is what God meant when He said: 'On this account, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall be one flesh.' From now on their thoughts shall be for each other rather than for their individual selves. Their plans shall be mutual, their joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. As they each take their sand and together pour them into the center vase, the small vases will be emptied, thus letting the center vase symbolize the union of our lives into one flesh. As this sand cannot be divided, neither shall their lives be divided. May the presence of this vase in their home from this day forward be a witness of their unity in Christ. |
The Rose Ceremony is the perfect complement to the Sand Ceremony. As I explain during the ceremony itself, your gifts to each other for your wedding day are your rings, a formal gift which announces to the world that you are married. After exchanging your rings and performing the Sand Ceremony (if applicable), you are, to all intents and purposes, married. This is where I ask you to give each other your first gift as husband and wife: a single red rose, the perfect symbol of love. There are several ways of presenting the roses: either I or your Maid of Honor and Best Man can present them to you, or, as one couple chose, you can bring a rose bush and clip roses off for each other (we can provide a vase to hold your roses afterward).
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Your gift to each other for your wedding today has been your wedding rings - which shall always be an outward demonstration of your vows of love and respect; and a public showing of your commitment to each other. Now I want you to give each other a gift only for yourselves. The rose has always been a symbol of love and a single rose always meant only one thing - it meant the words "I love you". So it is appropriate that your first gift as husband and wife would be a single rose. Please exchange your roses. In some ways it seems like you have done nothing at all. You were holding a rose, and now you are still holding a rose. In many ways, a marriage ceremony is much like this. Tomorrow won’t seem much different from yesterday. But in fact today, you both have given and received one of the most valuable and precious gifts of life - one I hope you will always remember - the gift of true and abiding love. GROOM and BRIDE, I would ask that, wherever you make your home in the future, that you both pick one very special location for roses; so that on each anniversary of this occasion, you both may take a rose to that spot as a recommitment to your marriage and to your love for each other. In every relationship there are times where it is difficult to find the right words, the two hardest being, "I’m sorry". If this should happen, if you simply can not find these words, leave a rose at that spot which both of you have selected - for that rose says what matters most of all and should overpower all other things and all other words. That rose says: "I still love you". It should be accepted in place of the words which can not be found and it should help in remembrance of the love and hope that you both share today. Of all the things you may bring from this ceremony, the most important is that it was love that brought you here today, and it is only by love that your marriage shall endure. |
The Unity Candle has become very well-known and needs little introduction. Traditionally, the two family candles (tapers) are lit by the mothers of the Bride and Groom, as part of the Processional, but this can also be done by other family members or close friends. Then, during the actual ceremony, the Bride and Groom use these candles to light the single Unity Candle (pillar) to symbolize, as in the Sand Ceremony, the joining of these two into one. They then have the option to either blow out the original flames or leaving them lit.
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| Here are two examples of the Unity Candle Ceremony:
The Unity Candle is a symbol of the coming together of two individuals, two separate souls who have now been made one. As the individual flames are not blown out, their individuality is not lost or destroyed; instead, it is that very individuality that will enable them to provide love and support for each other for the rest of their lives. The two outside candles been lighted to represent their lives to this moment. They are two distinct lights, each capable of going their separate ways. To bring bliss and happiness to their home there must be the merging of these two lights into one light. This is what God meant when He said: 'On this account, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall be one flesh.' From now on their thoughts shall be for each other rather than for their individual selves. Their plans shall be mutual, their joys and sorrows shall be shared alike. As they each take a candle and together light the center candle, they will extinguish their own candles, thus letting the center candle symbolize the union of our lives into one flesh. As this one light cannot be divided, neither shall their lives be divided. May the radiance of this one light be a witness of their unity in Christ. |
| The Breaking of the Glass is another tradition with which most people are familiar. Most well-known as a Jewish tradition, it can still have meaning for other couples: for example, an interfaith wedding. Immediately following the words here, the covered glass is placed on the floor and I follow it with the Pronouncement of Marriage, then the introduction of the new couple, and the kiss. Immediately following the kiss, the Groom steps on the glass with his right foot:
There have been many stories explaining the breaking of the glass. For those of us here today, it serves to remind us of several very important aspects of a marriage. GROOM and BRIDE and everyone should consider these marriage vows as an irrevocable act, just as permanent and final as the breaking of this glass is unchangeable. The shattered glass also reminds us how fragile life and love can be. That sometimes a thoughtless act, breech of trust, or infidelity can damage a marriage in ways that are very difficult to undo, just as it would be difficult to undo the breaking of the glass. It serves as a reminder of the sanctity of marriage, and that the love of this man and this woman should last for as long as it takes to make the glass perfectly whole again. I t also symbolizes the transforming experience that marriage creates, leaving the bride and groom forever changed. In a moment, GROOM will break the glass, signifying the end of the ceremony and the time for celebration. |
| The release of butterflies for a wedding or other special event is supposed to have come from a Native American legend about the creation of butterflies (click HERE to read several legends about butterflies). Here is one example:
If anyone desires a wish to come true, they must capture a butterfly and whisper that wish to it. Since they make no sound, they can't tell the wish to anyone but the Great Spirit. So by making the wish and releasing the butterfly, it will be taken to the heavens and be granted. Today this couple has chosen to keep this tradition by performing this celebration. Please come and join them in their wish! |
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